Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.WASHINGTON—Expressing profound confusion and distress at what they were witnessing, the U. populace was unable to discern why an unattractive woman was suddenly on screen in front of them, sources reported Thursday.
Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing...
WASHINGTON—His heart racing in terror as he struggled to breathe, Vice President Mike Pence was reportedly flooded with panic Thursday before he realized the hand resting on his knee during a conference at the White House was his own.
NEW YORK—Saying they were elated with the number of people who took time out of their day to relieve themselves for a good cause, officials at the Yellow Cross announced Wednesday that the organization received a record 10,000 liters of urine during its annual spring donation drive.
something I'm sure you all heard as freshman during “Hell Week”), the next logical step is to break down what goes into dating them. A challenge is enticing, but don't take it too far, lest you become an angry remonstrance.
Because those cologne-wearing, Dolce-upgraded, French-press-drinking, 30-something hunks are a whole different animal. He likely believes he's seen everything, or at least more than you because he's older, so prove him wrong. He'll be impressed and allured by your precocious disposition.4. You can't get totally obliterated Saturday night and ruin the whole next day because — guess what? Don't talk about the age difference — but if he brings it up, play it coy.